by Mac McCarthy

SAN DIEGO, CA – Brewery employee Kailey Ward endured repeated attempts by customers to explain her own job to her, according to chauvinistic sources. The unfortunate incident took place after hours, while she was trying to enjoy a shift beer.

“Fourth time today that a man approached me to talk down to me about brewing,” said Ward, head brewer of FoamWorks Brewing Co. “I mean sure, I’m used to men trying to mansplain my job to me, but this set a new record for the most in one sitting. The first three all tried to tell me the bullshit IPA origin story, but this one really wanted to go into detail about flameout vs dry hop additions. I’m an employee, so I have to stay polite, but I really just want to drown them in the lagering tank.”

The man in question, Tyler Murphy, was finishing his third glass of Bruges Bliss, the brewery’s Belgian strong ale, during the encounter, according to witnesses. 

“Women love it when a knowledgeable, handsome person like myself takes the time to share his wisdom with them,” said Murphy, a tasting room regular, while snapping his fingers to get the beertender’s attention. “I’ve been drinking craft beer for years; I have a lot of experience to share. When I interrupt a conversation, everyone stops talking and turns to me. Today was no different. Kailey listened with excitement as I showed off my knowledge of hop varietals from Cascade to Columbus. I sensed a romantic connection brewing.”

A representative from the Siebel Institute of Technology, where Ward studied beer making through their Master Brewer Program, explained the vast amount of knowledge required to complete the course. 

“This program requires years of studying to complete,” said Anthony Ramirez. “Students split time between Chicago and Munich learning every aspect of beer production. It’s a prestigious title that demonstrates an encyclopedic knowledge of beer styles and their formulation. But many of our female students report that they still receive unsolicited lectures from men. There seems to be no amount of knowledge, job title, or technical proficiency in the beer industry that prevents women from having their own job poorly described to them by drunk men.”

At press time, another man was observed interrupting Ward while she transferred an imperial stout into bourbon barrels so he could tell her that the opening in the barrel was called a bunghole.