Do you have a passion for craft beer and keen detective skills? Are you ex-law enforcement or military personnel? Do you have the ability to smell a rat? If so, this opportunity may be for you! BrewDog, one of the biggest breweries in the world (but definitely still craft), is a rapidly hiring company. Mostly due to so many employees quitting (which is punk as fuck, btw). 

BrewDog UK is looking to hire an in-house PI (Punk Investigator) to find dirt on ex-employees who may be bad-mouthing our fearless leader, James Watt. James has been bitten by the cancel culture bug and is actively searching for an anti-woke, bad ass sleuth to head up our internal affairs division. Think Sherlock Holmes meets Sid Vicious.

Responsibilities include:

• Finding out which rat bastards’ arses we need to shove a bottle of 50% beer up
• Making sure they know we will find out who they are and will publicly drag them
• Interview family, friends, acquaintances, dig up as much dirt as possible
• Destroy their credibility
• Position reports directly to CEO

The ideal candidate:

• Acute attention to detail but willing to completely ignore certain testimony
• Will admit BrewDogs was a good TV show
• Male preferred, but willing to make exception if you’re a trashy blonde
• Integras Investigative Solutions experience preferred but not required
• Must be able to lift 50 lbs by hand, 150 lbs with hand truck. 

Send resume and CV, as well as a list of three powerful men you’ve helped escape controversy, to partoftheproblem@brewdog.com.

Compensation is competitive, as well as some Equity for Punks. No PTO, but free brewery tours if you’re a hot lassie.

BrewDog is an equal opportunity employer that takes diversity very seriously blah blah blah whatever our lawyers said we have to say here. No feminists.