Mmm! This IPA is AWESOME man! Kudos to you. This might be your best batch yet. It hits all the notes perfectly. Not too bitter, not too citrusy, just right. Is that experimental hop HB586 I taste? I think I had a beer not that long ago that was made with it, and this tastes JUST like that. Maybe even better.

No HB586 you say? Hmm… interesting. Well it’s gotta be YQH-1320 then, right? I’d know that hop anywhere. One of the most unique hops out there. Probably the most unique.

CENTENNIAL?! Get out! I was JUST about to guess that! Now that you mention it, I do taste Centennial’s patented… uh… flavor. Like weed mixed with pineapples, and a touch of pine trees. Hey, you should call this beer Pineapple Express! 

Is there lactose in this Pineapple Express IPA? No, huh? Now that is impressive. I would have sworn there was lactose. My taste buds are usually spot on with this stuff. You really are next-level with your craft.

I assume you at least double-dry hopped it, though. Maybe even triple-dry hopped. Wow, a single hop, Centennial IPA, huh? Who would have thought? Not me, that’s for sure. Gimme them slutty Citra clones all day. West coast IPAs were dead to me, until you made this nectar of the gods.

I guess this is it. This must be the lager shift I keep hearing about. My palate is changing. Put a fork in the hype game. I’m done. Craft lagers for me only, please. In fact, just give me a Yueng Ling now and I’ll be happy. 

Actually, do you know of any local distilleries?