BROOKYLN – The fake beer announced by Hopeful Brewing Company sounds better than any actual beer in their catalog, unamused sources confirmed. The brewery took part in the light-hearted holiday with a fun social media post, leaving customers wishing for truth in jest.

“It honestly sounds halfway decent,” said Ace Palát, a begrudging regular of Hopeful’s. “They posted with a bunch of laughing emojis that they were releasing a beer ‘inspired by the ginger dipping sauce you get at hibachi restaurants’, but that sure as shit sounds better than at least the last five beers they’ve put out. I mean, the house lager was undrinkable. How do you mess up a house lager? And don’t get me started on the stout with coffee. My stomach still ain’t right.”

Juanis Jones, Hopeful’s kooky owner, was happy to join in on the jokes, saying that normally the brewery is all business.

“We don’t usually partake in the internet trends,” said Jones, chewing one of his beers. “We are just so hyper-focused on creating quality brews that sometimes we forget this is supposed to be fun. A couple other breweries made jokes about brewing a ranch beer, or posted a glass of Windex or something, so we figured it was our turn. I think it’s well received.” 

Stan Phelan, a local homebrewer, is considering trying to write a recipe to make Hopeful’s gag beer a reality.

“I think if I get the right amount of fresh ginger root and soy sauce, this could actually lead to something!” Phelan said, unsure if the beer would need onions. “I guess this would be pretty strong beer, too, because I think they use brown sugar in those sauces. This will be a fun little experiment!”

Jones isn’t convinced this is a worthwhile investment, however.

“If you want to drink onions, just fucking dry hop the beer with Summit.”